Not again!!

"I cannot believe this is happening again. Dry up those tears and stop crying," said mom in a very angry voice after what seemed like the twentieth time of the day. The child ran to the bathroom grabbed a towel and quickly wiped at his/her eyes. Than began to try hard not to let those crazy tears come down his/her cheeks again. If this happens very often the child is left feeling that whatever emotion caused the tears to flow was not right no matter how proper the tears really were to begin with. When in fact it might have just been the mother was at her whit's end at that moment. It also might have been that the child is very sensitive and cries very easy and often. Whatever the situation the child gets the message that crying is not a real good thing. Crying is to be avoided at any cost. Then the struggle begins. The one of trying to keep tears smothered deep inside never to escape. This can go all for years maybe the rest of their lives. Have you ever seen a person that never sheds tears no matter how sad or happy they are? You might be looking into a face of a person that suppressed their emotions since childhood. It is not necessarily a person who does not care but one that does not know how to express how they feel. A person trapped with tears on the inside trying to get out. If you come across someone like this how can you help them? Allow them to be who they are, accept them. Let them know you are there for them if they ever need to talk. Show compassion instead of a quick judgement, saying they have no feelings. Harsh unloving words stay in a person's heart and mind long after they have been spoken, think before speaking. A person that is different means just that they are different. I think we should always remember to treat others as you want to be treated. If we strive to do this we will all get along much better. Judgement is for God not us. Have a great day caring about others.

The nursing homes need to open up!!!

The year of the shutdown, 2020, was hard on many of us. Now over a year later and many people already have been vaccinated there are still places that are not opened. One of those places is the nursing homes. My heart goes out to those men and women. I think sometimes they are the forgotten people. They are older, sick, some in wheelchairs, some on walkers, some not even able to get out of bed, some have trouble just remembering who they are, they're a group of individuals that need to know they are not forgotten. Even in the best of circumstances some of them have no one that comes and spends time with them. Now after many months of being isolated hope is at an all time low. My sister is in a nursing home and the facility is saying when they allow us to we will open back up. We took a vacation to Ohio and I was able to schedule an appointment to see her but I could only sit behind a shielded glass and talk to her for half an hour. I wanted to hug her, hold her tight and whisper in her ear how much I miss and love her. Instead at a distance I had to say my love. I felt like it was just not the same, I know it wasn't for me and I'm sure she felt the same, even though we both smiled as we parted. It left me feeling that a big hug would have helped us both. My sister has dementia and sometimes she doesn't remember who I am. It does not mean she doesn't care it just means she has a medical condition robbing her of memories she spent her lifetime making. Now I have to help her remember. We that have the  memories left need to help those less fortunate to recall what they can. We need to help them find something to laugh about. They are no less important, no less loved, they are still your brother, sister, someone's mother or father, they are important just in a different way. Put yourself in their shoes would you want to be forgotten? I know I don't want to be a forgotten person. When these facilities open up again I look forward to the time I can go and spend time with her and others like her. Will they remember that I was there, I don't know but I know for a few minutes they smiled and hopefully felt like someone cares about them. What we do doesn't always have to about us, it needs to be about others. Friends' people suffer in different ways. Loneliness is an awful way that so many are suffering right now. If you can help relieve that for anyone even when they don't remember let us do our part in making someone else's day a little less lonely. I want you to know if I can help you just reach out, send me a message and I will get back with you. We need to be there for each other. Don't live in loneliness any longer. Be the reason someone else is not living in loneliness any longer. Have a great day enjoying others.

Love Yourself

The scripture says to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39). I have had people tell me since I don't love myself than I don't have to love my neighbor (I have felt like that before myself). I think the key to this verse is that we are supposed to love ourselves. Not in a way that we think we are better than everyone else but love ourselves in a humble way, just knowing we are a special, valuable person that God loves and so do others. But what has happened in some of our lives as children we are given wrong information. For example we might have been told on a regular base that we are a worthless person and we should have never been born or that nobody wants us and no one could love someone like us. All of that is wrong information. I guess the reason people say things like that is because they might not feel that any one loves them, so it becomes a pattern of passing on awful, horrible, wrong concepts of who we really are. With all of this wrong information about ourselves we can and many times become very bitter angry people. When that happens we lash out at others like it is there fault we feel like we do. Truth be known they never said any of those things, maybe we thought they looked at us strange, or we thought they was laughing at us just because we saw them laughing. Then all the things we were told as a child comes racing back into our minds, even if we don't realize it, and we amuse the worse. So the self-hate keeps growing,  so to say love your neighbor as yourself, might be saying to us treat them however we want because it doesn't matter, in which case your neighbor never had a chance. But really what we need to do is change the way we think about ourselves. We need to start reprograming our brain. We need to tell ourselves that we are valuable, we are important, we are special, and really believing it. It will take time to reprogram our brain but remember what was said to us didn't happen one time we heard it many times. Therefore, it stands to reason that it would take many times to correct the wrong information we have been given. When we really learn that we are valuable and that God made us special and there is something great for us to do then it to love our neighbor will not be such a hard thing. So my challenge to all of us today is to start telling ourselves these things: I love myself because, I AM VALUABLE, I AM IMPORTANT, I AM SPECIAL, I AM MADE FOR GREATNESS. Have a great day loving who you really are, then begin loving your neighbor as yourself.

Thankful or Not

For the past couple of weeks I have heard a lot of talk about being thankful. This Thursday is Thanksgiving, a day to celebrate all the things you are thankful for.
What are you thankful for is the question of the day? Or are you thankful? The second question might seem kind of strange because your mind might already have quickly went to your thankfulness. The second question only comes to my mind because I have heard people say they have nothing to be thankful for. I find that disturbing that an individual thinks there is nothing in their life they can think of that brings happiness to their heart. I want to share some things that I have been told as I have suggested things to them, to help them see they do have something.

You woke up this morning, I wish I hadn't. You have two children, I know but the only time they talk or come see me is when they want something. They only cause heart ache. What about your grandchildren? They don't want anything to do with me because we disagree on things, or they tell me how stupid I am. What about your friend? She doesn't come see me and only makes me feel stupid when she does. My heart sinks with every question. I want to go through the phone wrap my arms around her and say I love you. In words that is what I tried to do, reach right through the phone and hold her tight. But I know when I hang up the phone her feelings and worthlessness lingers. Words aren't always comforting. Actions speak much louder than words. The actions portrayed to this person, are not ones of love. If you find this to be you having nothing to be thankful for than you need to consider changing the people you hang with. They are call toxic people. These kind of people will take you down the road of despair. Don't let this happen to you. You are more valuable than that. Shake them off and begin the search for people that value your greatness. Determine today not to have another year, month, week, or day with nothing to be thankful for. If you find you cannot do that email me alters30@yahoo.com and let me see if I can help you find something. There are times in our lives that we all need help in finding somethings that are lost. Thankfulness is not anything you should lose.

I have many things to be grateful for. I have a wonderful husband, two great boys, a great daughter-in-law, and five wonderful grandchildren, they make me feel special and important. I have a number of amazing friends. My list is very long of the things I am thankful for. But I think the most important thing in my life is God and the part He plays. I have gone through some hard years feeling I had nothing to be thankful for. I am delighted that God was there seeing me through. He is the best friend I have ever had. The great thing is I can talk to Him any time. He does not feel me toxic information about myself. He sees my value. This year He is at the top of my list of things or people I am thankful for. What or who is at the top of your list? Have a great Thanksgiving.

Purpose

I have been thinking about purpose. Yesterday on Facebook Mary Ellen Ciganovich gave a great talk about purpose. (If you did not catch it then go to her facebook page and listen to Miracles with Mary Ellen excellent talk.) I agree with what she is saying. Having a purpose has not left my mind. I have pondered for a few weeks on what happens when people lose sight of their purpose. I believe everyone has a purpose in life. We might struggle with finding it, or might find it and say no way can I do that, or that is no really a gift everyone can do it. I have known for years my gifts are teaching, public speaking and writing. That does not mean I have always done those things. I have also been known to point out other people's gifts or purpose and encourage them to embrace them, while I push mine aside. This past month I had an awakening to what can happen when you lose sight of your purpose or push your gift aside as not important. I would like to tell you everything that happened but you might not want to sit for hours listening to me rabble and that I could. We could cry, laugh and over cyber space hug each other. That is the kind of sad story this really is. I have chosen to share a part of my visit to Ohio to visit a sick sister.
I got a call from an older sister a few weeks ago now telling me my younger sister was very ill. She was in the hospital and they were not sure what was going to happen. My sisters' voice caused everything in me to panic. It was a Sunday night so when I got off the phone I talked to Steve about it. At that point we was not sure what I should do. The next day my sister called back and it even sounded less hopeful. I called Steve to tell him, he prayed, we hung up the phone and went about our day. By the time he got home from work my insides had reached a level of freaking out. Yes I was praying about what I should do, but I must admit I still worried. I felt the thing I needed to do was to fly to Ohio. My husband came home with the same conclusion. Within two days I was sitting in my older sisters' house. After visiting with her a short while, we started for the hospital. I had no idea what to expect. My little sister had been starving herself to death, she now weighed eighty pounds, she was only a shell of the woman she use to be. My heart sank, she didn't recognize me. After I told her who I was we hugged again and cried. I was told she had onset of dementia. It broke my heart. As I spent more time with her reliving many things, we laughed, cried and hugged. She was not eating and did not even seem to care to eat. She kept saying to me she just wanted to sleep and not wake up. I began to force feed her, she opened her mouth to complain I put food in it. I told her every time she opened her mouth that is what was going to happen and it did. After a little while she just made faces at me instead of talking. The next time food came she was ok with me feeding her. After she was able to eat, she began to do a little better. A few days later they transferred her to a nursing home. As she felt better she began to talk about going home. The nurses and workers at the nursing home treated her good. She began to feel like she mattered to someone. I could see hope returning to her. She would smile, joke and laugh with little effort. I kept trying to think of something that would give her mind something to think about. What did she enjoy then it came to me quilting. Quilting has been her passion for many years I pulled up Pinterest on my phone and showed her some quilts. I kept saying that looks so hard. Her eyes lit up to just look at what one time she would do for hours. Then she assured me that's easy. To my eyes not any of them looked easy. We talked about quilting for a long while I asked questions, she answered. Her passion once again was burning in her heart. As she looked at these beautiful quilts she was not even able to sit up in a chair let alone sew. But as I write this she is doing better and my older sister plans on taking her home with her someday to see if again she can do what she loves, quilt.
I say this is remind you to keep pursuing your passion then you will find your purpose. My sister allowed others to dictate to her that she was not worth anything. That her passion was now of no value. She lost sight of the fact that she has a purpose in life. She has regained that I believe, but now she is too sick to work to her fullest on her passion. Do not allow a thief to come into your life and steal what you love. If you allow a robber to do that they will also take your hope. Surround yourself with positive encouraging people, they will not rob you.
I came home with the determination not to allow that to happen to me. I also was losing sight of what my gifts are, what my purpose in life is. It was a wakeup call for me, as I hope it is for you. If you have lost sight of your purpose or have not found it yet keep looking. Keep doing the thing that you are passionate about. Do not let anyone rob you of the joy of your gifts. Not everyone will understand or even think you are good at it but remember they are not living your life. You are the only one that can fill your spot in life. Life is too short to allow someone to cheat you out of the blessing in store for you as you live in your purpose. Have a great day living you passion and purpose.

God only knows the real you.

I was listening to a song a few minutes ago titled "God only knows the real you". It made me stop and think, how true. We act different when we are with different people. Part of that is because of how we feel about that person. We all wear many different hats (not literally). For me I am a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, writer and friend, some people might have other labels for me, but these are the ones I'm claiming. Each title means something different when I think about them. There are things my sons and Steve know that not one else knows. My siblings cold tell you a lot about how I was as a child. My grandkids could tell what makes me such a cool grandma or not so cool. Friends could share some crazy times we have enjoyed. Some know some of the same things, but all of them know something different. If they were all sitting around telling stories, which is a little frightful as to what they might reveal, they would hear something from someone else that they never knew. I am sure many laughs would be shared, also tears, also there would be some surprising things. Steve knows things about me that I have never told anyone else. Even with that being said there are things he doesn't even know. I don't always tell everything I think or feel. Although when I am on a talking spree I am sure he thinks certainly there cannot be anything left to tell. Ha Ha!! I always have something else to say, I might just be taking a long breath. Maybe that is why I like to write.

God made us, he knows our very thoughts. Therefore, He knows who we really are, deep inside. He knows all about us. Even those thoughts and feelings we don't share because we think people won't understand. Guess what God already knows them and He does understand. He understands our anger and fears. He even knows how many hairs we have on your head (Matthew 10:30), I am not interested to know that I am just thankful I have them there. He also tells us that we are more important than many sparrows (Matthew 10:31), sparrows are one of the smallest birds around. God loves us in spite of the fact that we don't even love ourselves some days. God sent His son to save us (John 3:16) so we can forever live with Him. He sent His son in spite of all our mess ups and failures. He loves us that much. He knows what we are made to do. He created us for something great. To understand ourselves better we need to understand Him better, since He has known us from the beginning. God knows the real you. Allow God to show you what He has for you today. Have a great day.

Caught up in who I'm not

Who are we really? We are being told things about our self as soon as we are born. We don't understand right away but the words are spoken. As we grow we repeat those things, because we believe them to be true. We carry them into adulthood sometimes not even considering that they might not be right. The problem with that is some of the things people say about us are not true. I remember being told how stupid I was and would never amount to anything. I believed that for many years. And honestly there are times I still struggle with that feeling. If I'm not careful I can get caught up in who I'm not, not who I am. Are you caught up in who you are not?
When you are told bad things about yourself it can lead to great problems. It can lead you down a road of negative feelings and actions. I want to share a few of those with you: When you are called worthless it makes you feel like you don't matter, so you feel no one cares. When you are told you are stupid it give you the feeling of why try to learn anything else or do anything different. Then you don't venture out into what you can do or even should be don't. You believe you will never succeed. When you are told you are ugly, you don't care about how you appear. It can keep you drawing away from people. When you are told you are fat, it can cause you to form an eating disorder. The message is my appearance is not right it has to be changed. You get what I'm saying. You might think there is no hope for you but there is. It will take hard work but I know you can do it. Some suggestions to help you get started.
Take a good long look at the person you are deep inside. Does it measure up with who you think you are? Is it someone that you want to be? Start the work today. Write down what you want to be like. Then listen to the positive things people say about you and start believing them. If you have to write them down and read it every day, do it. Maybe you should start to write down positive things you do or say to others. That will help you realize who you really are. God created us all with greatness but the problem is we sometimes have not tapped into it or are having a hard time finding out what it really is for us. We will never find it if we keep walking in who we are not. Start today seeking out who you really are and walk in it. Not everyone will understand or support you in your new adventure but you must do it for you.
DO NOT ALLOW THE PERSON YOU ARE NOT CONTROL YOU!!!!