National Poetry Month/ABANDONED NO MORE

Seeing people walk away time and time again is what I see in my mind
I cannot tell what is real or memories, they all are so authentic
Abandoned I do feel, left all alone with no one to care BUT
What I see with my real eyes are not people's backs
I see their smiling or sad faces - they really are here to help
They do not leave me in my struggles of yesterday, they stay
Letting me know it is okay to cry when the pain and fear are present
They even give me a hug when I think I can hardly go another step
Their back I do not see even when I question everything they say
Their faces I try to keep in my mind as I thrash about in the night
I hear their heartfelt concern for me as a person
Do these kinds of people forsake you? I don't think so!
No more am I a throw away person to others
ABANDONED NO MORE - THAT IS REALLY ME!!!!!

National Poetry Month/ALONE

Taken from my book "Out of the Depths a Poetic Journey"

ALONE
I feel so very, very alone
In a big world of many
I hear people in the background
They seem to always be miles away
But really they are within arms' reach
But I cannot reach out and touch them
Are my arms broken do they not work
What does it take to reach out to someone?
My aloneness keeps me in a bubble afraid to reach
How can I bust the bubble? I do not know.
No one to talk to or ask my many questions
I wish you could hear my insides wanting out
Maybe then you would understand I cannot help where I am
Maybe you could help rescue me from the bubble
All alone, so alone how do I get out this cage?

National Poetry Month/WORMS

There they are again
Where do they come from?
The worms under my skin
There they go wiggling
Now they are crawling
Up my arms, down my back
I think they have gone to my brain
Thinking right cannot happen
Crazy it makes me feel
They make me squirm
Those little guys
I know they are there
But I never see them
They come, they go
They do not stop for long
There they go again
Crawling, crawling all around
What makes them leave?
What makes them stay?
I really wish I knew
Then away they would go
No more to wiggle
What a relief that would be
I guess I will put up with them
Until I figure out their leaving
So wiggle on little ones
But please don't invite your family!!!!

National Poetry Month/WORDS

Since this month is National Poetry Month I thought I would share some poems throughout the next few weeks. Some of them will be found in my book "Out of the Depths a Poetic Journey". 

WORDS

My hands are tied I cannot write
What will happen to all my words?
I need to be able to let them escape
Bottled up inside is not good at all
When the lid is put on them they fizz
What follows is not a pretty sight
They start to seep out all over the place
Oh no they have popped the lid
Now they are flying on everyone
Run as fast as you can, get away
Hurry before they hit, they might hurt
When that happens the repair is hard
Duck here comes one your way
I think the wise thing would be
Remove the lid letting them escape
Not at people just on paper
What a relief that will be
Knowing they will not hurt
As they fly on my paper
I might throw kind loving words your way
Don't worry they do not hurt
You might be surprised how good
They will make you feel so BEWARE
Flying words might come your way

PTSD/Let People Help You

Recap: confess you have a problem, don't be afraid of labels, seek your inner strength, find a qualified person to help, be willing to go to the dark hidden place, find a support person, call on God, write, write, write, now do something for someone else and the last is let people help you.
It is a fact that many people are very proud. We do not want people to know how hard things are. We want people to think we are strong and can handle anything. I understand all of that. I know when I am at my low I don't want people to know. I don't want them to see or hear me reacting to my hurt and frustration. I get embarrassed that I am having a problem and having a hard time handling it. The fact is, how is anyone going to help you overcome that struggle if they don't know it exist? A dear friend might know something is wrong but if you do not trust them enough to talk to them they cannot be of help. I am not advocating going around telling the whole world your difficulties. But those that are trying to support you need to know how they can be of assistance. You don't know what kind of situation they are having this might be their time of helping someone else. Your time might be for someone else to help you. I believe we are all in the world
to help each other. Let people help you when you feel you cannot help yourself. God loves you and has sent them in your life for a reason. Allow God to work in your life as well as theirs.

PTSD/Do Something For Someone Else

Recap: confess you have a problem, don't be afraid of labels, seek your inner strength, find a qualified person to help, be willing to go to the dark hidden place, find a support person, call on God, write, write, write, and now do something for someone else.
This might sound kind of strange in light of what we have been talking about. We need to stay focused on the mission ahead which is concurring PTSD but it can wipe you totally out if you don't get some kind of balance. Sometimes we have to step outside ourselves. There are people you come in contact with that needs only what you can give. I don't mean money nor necessarily emotional energy but just a smile when you pass or an encouraging word. We never know how much it means to someone by doing the simple things that we do every day without a thought, the things that make you really you. We should not do something for someone else to be noticed but because we care.  It makes that person feel special we all like that feeling. It also shows to you that you do make a difference.  When you give to someone else it helps you to regroup. Then when you go back to the place that you would rather not travel you will be ready to push on. Keep in mind that
everyone has their own journey to travel. Be a light to them as others have been a light to you. You are loved and so are they.