Author Glenda L. Hunter

Author Glenda L. Hunter

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

ANXIETY

          Headed to Wal-Mart with list in hand ready to grab a few things and back home. "I can do this," I keep telling myself as I park the car. I reach the door and enter no problem. Then all of a sudden it hits again. By the time I reach the carts, I start to sweat, tension swells up inside and my heart begins to race very fast, but I keep pushing on. I hold onto the cart extra tight as if it is trying to run away and begin my shopping. I have a hard time concentrating. I stare at the list. As I stand in the isle I feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes. I swallow hard to keep pushing on. Finally with all of my items in the cart I check out and almost run to the car. As quick as I can I put my things in the car and get behind the wheel. I sit there and begin to cry. I cannot control it any longer. I stay parked right there until I get control of myself so I can drive home. Yes, it is a full blown panic attack. That is what anxiety can cause.
The dictionary says that anxiety is worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. Anxiety can cause us to become so afraid it is hard to venture out of our own house. It keeps us from doing the things that we need to do for ourselves or even our family. It can be a real, crippling thing. There are things that you can do to get control back. One easy thing to do when you feel it creeping in is to stop, literally stop, take a deep breath, and stand still for a few seconds then proceed. It helps calm your insides down long enough for you to tell yourself you can do this. No one will even notice that is what you have done, as long as you don't stop right in front of someone. Taking a short walk also helps you to calm yourself. If you find anxiety rising, just because you are outside, don't run back in and hide. Do what I first mentioned because you can do this.
Many things cause us to be anxious and lose hope for the day so I want to share this scripture with you. Matthew 6:34 (Jesus says) "Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Paul in I Peter also tells us what to do with the anxiety. I Peter 5:7 "Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you".
Have a great day. Taking a deep breath, add a smile to your face and do what you need to get done. You got this.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

STRESS

    I was asked to write about stress. When I think about stress I think about my good friend. She went to the hospital for chest pain, no heart attack the doctor thought it was probably stress. Solution was to cut out the stress in her life. I think the laugh we got from that comment probably did her more good than going to the hospital. So what is stress? Steve and I were talking about stress the other night and he said it is from outside sources. While on the other hand worry is from internal. That sure gave me something to think about. I went to everyone's favorite source these days to see what google had to say. The first thing I found out was it actually does comes from an outside source (he was right). For example, you might be stressed about work and the amount you have to do in a short time or other related issues with work. What about family? They can certainly add to your stress level, for various reasons. If you are in school, you might be concerned about the course load and making the grade. Once these events have passed, the job situation changes, family conditions change and the classes are complete, you will notice your stress level has decreased until something else comes up. There can be periods you might seem like the stress in your life will never end but it will pass.
             Signs you might have too much stress: depression or general unhappiness, agitation, moodiness, shortness of breath, and feeling overwhelmed. I am sure this is not all but just a few signs you could experience. There are things you can do to help get these feeling under control. First just stop take a deep breath, continue to breath slowly for a while and you should start to feel your body calming down. Evaluate the situation. Is it something you can change? If so, take the steps to change the situation. If it is something that affects you but you cannot change, release that into the proper hands and refuse to carry the extra stress. That is not always easy but when you master it, your stress level will decrease. Find some type of exercise. My son is a runner and he says it really cuts down on his stress level. I know that taking a good walk, breathing in the good fresh air helps the mind and body to relax and gives me a new focus on things. I must confess I don't do it near enough. I know when I do it I feel less stress and when I get home I feel like I can handle things much better. Things will come up so you need to find a way of releasing the stress that you face. Or you might be like my friend facing a doctor that is telling you the same thing.
            I know I mentioned worry so I should at least say something about it. Worry can be triggered by stress but keeps hanging around. They both have many of the same signs. But according to the National Institute of Health's U.S. National Library of Medicine "there is one telltale symptom that signals anxiety (worry) and only anxiety: a persistent feeling of apprehension or dread." Try very hard to get your stress under control before it becomes full blown worry and cause a serious problem.
            Other tips to help manage and reduce your stress level: avoid caffeine, physical activities, get more sleep, try relaxation techniques, talk to someone, keep a stress diary, manage your time and take control of your situation. They sound easy right? So we should have no more trouble with stress. I know you are about ready to throw your computer or phone at me because you don't think it sounds that easy and I don't know what stress you have to deal with. I know but you also don't know if any of these will work until you give them a try. You need to do it more than one time to honestly say if it works. I think you will find with practice you will find the thing that fits you the best. Then practice until it becomes a regular habit. One that will greatly improve your life and attitude.
            Also, I would suggest that you focus on God more. Make the situation a matter of prayer for guidance, then follow the guidance God gives. I Peter 5:7 'Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." I will being praying for you my reader that your days will be less stressful and God's peace will fill your day. Have a great day.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Teen Depression

Depression is a real thing. We seem to have very little problem in believing that adults suffer from being depressed but what about children. It does not surprise me that children also suffer from being depressed. We as a society put a lot of pressure on children to be little adults. Wake up they are not little adults. I also have been guilty of expecting my children and grandchildren to act like little adults. They need to be perfect, right? Wrong they need to be children. I do think they need to be well behaved but they need time to run and play. They need to let their imaginations run wild in discovery. They should not have to struggle with decisions that an adult should be making for them. What about peer pressure? I know that can be a damaging thing but today it seems worse. I think it is highly due to social media. The child that might never say anything in person might blow up different avenues of social media about a person, than the whole world sees. One quick action may cause a child to suffer for a long time to come. They might suffer great pain in silence for a long time before the problem is discovered.  Also peer pressure happens to children at school the ones that look and act different. The verbal abuse they suffer becomes unreal. What about those that aren't making the grades everyone thinks they should? What harassment they go through because they get labeled stupid. This is not just among the students some teachers facilitate this by the words they choose to use to the students. We all need to be careful what words we use they can be very damaging. After this goes on for a prolonged period depression can set in and we might have never realized there was even a problem. Some children never say anything they choose to live with the inner torment in silence. What if it is a family situation? In divorced families (not all by any means) one parent might be angry at the other for what has happened and they take it out on the child. Who wants to say anything in a situation like that, not to many children I know. They love both of their parents, so not a word will they speak. From the outside everything appears great but not on the inside. Then the child begins to change.
            There are a number of signs to watch for that indicates that your child has a problem that needs attention. The first thing you probably would notice is changed behavior. Other things you might want to beware of is change in appetite from not having one to over eating, change in their social life, wanting to sleep all the time or complaining that they can't sleep and not wanting to go to a certain classes or hang with certain people. Or a very popular child might all of a sudden complain about not having any friends. I understand that some of these things can be just a stage they are going through but if it is a prolonged pattern than you need to investigate. Be active in your child's life. Talk to them and see if you can get to the bottom of the issue, if they will not talk to you than get them someone to talk to. Don't play the blame game, play the action game. Your child is the important one right now. If depression goes untreated it can turn into suicidal thinking. Also don't rule out the fact it can be a chemical imbalance as well, if that is the case it also needs treated.
My suggestion is to really make it a matter of prayer, ask others to pray, and seek professional help if needed. There are trained people out there that love the Lord. Find the one that fits your child's personality the best. Talk to the counselor first to see what you think, then you and your child talk to them and see what the child thinks, then make a decision. After the decision is made listen to your child and see if there starts to be changes in a positive way. It might take a little while, damage to a child doesn't happen overnight it will not get fixed overnight. Keep praying for both your child and the counselor. Help your child feel safe in talking to you about everything, don't be judgmental just listen. Some things might be hard to hear but allow them to be spoken then the two of you can work through whatever the situation. Getting to the root of the problem can and will bring healing. The important thing is to keep open and listen with your heart as well as your ears. Always remember that child loves you. You love them. God loves you both. Allow God to help you both find the healing needed for the hurt that causes the depression. May God direct you in the right paths.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

LOVE YOU DEAR

I have lost someone very dear to me
I wonder how am I going to keep on moving
My sleep is taken from me and replaced with you
I wake thinking I cannot move from this spot
But I slowly drag myself out of bed
Place my feet on the floor and begin my day
Another day of missing you and loneliness
I get ready for work wishing I could talk to you
My steps are not fast but at least I move
I long to hear your voice, see your smile, feel your hug
Those days are no longer going to be
I'm not sure I can handle what live is now
I don't know that I want to really go on
Losing you is just so very hard, my heart breaks
I push on because I must, I must keep going
People smile at me as they pass
I smile back but they don't know how I cry inside
My heart is broken, life will never be the same
Time has passed since I last laid eyes on you
Many days I cry inside because I still miss you
I have learned to keep pushing in spite of my loss
No one will ever replace you my dear
There is only one you so special and precious
Forever you will have a piece of my heart
I celebrate our time together and rejoice
I smile at the mention of your name
I am a very privileged person to have known you
I am a better person because of you my dear
I will live my life to its fullest knowing you see
Knowing you would be a big part if you were here
And knowing that love continues in spite of separation
Dear love rest in peace and love
We will be rejoined sometime in the future
But now I will live with a little less sun shine
But a smile none the less because I look for the reunion
Love you from the bottom of my heart
I'm sending you an enormous hug and big kiss
To hold you until we meet again. LOVE YOU DEAR

Friday, January 19, 2018

GRIEF

I just wrote about loss and I thought the next step is grief. At the end of the article on loss I gave a couple of suggestions you can do in helping deal with said loss but in no way do I think it will take the total grief away. Before I begin first I looked up the word grief to see what good Mr. Webster has to say, "deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement".  I looked in the thesaurus to see what other word could be used for poignant that would help the meaning become more alive. There are a number of words but the one I find that describes the loss of a loved one is 'heartbreaking'. Breaking of one's heart is really what happens at the time of a loved ones passing. We hold our deep feelings in our heart. How many time have you said "I love you with all my heart"? I know I have said that little phrase more than once. When I say it I want the person to know I love
them greatly. So when a dear loved one passes it breaks our heart. We long for them to be back. We have a deep pain that no one can really touch. Other people will have their own pain. I find myself unhappy, miserable, the sorrow is great and the feeling of woe is on me and takes over. The grieving has become full blown. The period of grieving has begun. How long is this period? Maybe you could answer that for me. I cannot tell you it will only last for a week, a month or even a year, it will last as long as it needs to. But the key is not to wallow in the loss and lose sight of the living. You have a life here and now. You have people that are still here that love you and need you. I know it doesn't feel like it because all feels lost. That does not mean others replace the one love you just lost but they need you. When the person was living you loved more than just them so in their passing you don't stop loving others in your life. Sometimes our behavior is read by others that we have stopped loving them when we get so overwhelmed with the grieving we stop living as we should. We are on a shutdown mode to everything around us. I have never lost a child or spouse but I have others that have for a time they lose sight of everyone around them. I have seen the great pain and loss in their eyes that goes deeper than one can explain. If that is you I understand the loss is great but allow someone to help you the best they can. For any loss try these things to help you get to through the days of your grief. Find that good friend that you can cry on their shoulder or that will just sit with you in silence. Think about making a quit or pillow out of pieces of their clothing to help with the visual part of the healing. Write about how deep you feel the loss. Write about the things you think no one will understand. No one really knows your hurt like you. But do keep in mind that when a person says they understand they are trying to help in a hurting situation. Remember everyone has grieved or will we should love and grow from each other's experience. We need each other. Grieve as you must, hold onto anything of theirs that helps, move at your pace but don't shut out the rest of the world. Allow God to help heal your broken heart. Psalms 147:7a "He heals the brokenhearted" Except the help of others and God during your grieving. Have a great day.  

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

LOSS

I have been trying to write on the topic of losing someone and have found it hard to put my thoughts in words. I have decided I should write about how losing someone has affected me. I know it affects all of us in different ways but I think that the general feeling is the same. I have lost people in my life that I was not really close to, that could even be a family member. When that happens I have a feeling of lose but not a real big void. If it is family it might appear that I could care less. But the truth is there is still a spot that only they will have and there are times that it aches because I can no longer visit with them. But the people that I hold very dear to my heart when they pass away it leaves me with a lot of different feelings which cause more emotions. The loss is greater the vacuum seems to be humongous. It seems that I will never recover. I am reminded of the time I got the phone call telling me of my sister-in-law's death, she was like a dear sister. It was unexpected and I was in total shock. I think anytime a person dies unexpectedly it is a shock. I handed the phone back to my younger sister without a word and fell on the bed where I stayed for a while. I hardly spoke to anyone for at least three days. When I got back home after the memorial service I still had very few words. My heart was full of the pain from the loss. I have reached for the phone a number of times to call her but realized that I would never be able to tell her anything again except in my mind and heart. Then the tears began to flow. Loss is hard, even harder when we love deeply. What do we do with all of this sorrow? I guess that is the big question. Do we not love? Not at all or we would miss a lot of great blessings. We would also miss the great fellowship with some wonderful people. I'm not sure there is one correct way to handle loss since every human is different but there are some things I think are helpful.  First of all we must remember that they will always be with us, in our heart. No matter what happens we are able to carry them in there and treasure every memory we have of them. Also it is okay to cry even years after the fact just because you still miss them. Something might come up that makes you think of that person and tears might just roll down your face because you still carry that love. You also might find yourself laughing because something was said or done that made you think of something funny that the two of you shared. Another great idea I've heard of is taking some of their clothes and making quits or pillows as a way of keeping them close and a great visual memory. You can hug it as if to hug them. We all have people we love and cherish. That does not have to end because they no longer walk on this earth. Honor their memory by living your life to the fullest and celebrating their life. I am sure that is what your dear loved ones would want for you. I know that is what my sister-in-law would want for me. Eleven years after her death I still think of her often and wish I could talk to her and sometimes I do in my mind and heart. I am reminded that while she was here she lived her life to its fullest and she would expect me to do the same, she would not expect me to stop doing the things that made me happy and fulfilled. Psalms 147:3a says "He heals the brokenhearted" allow God to heal the brokenness of your heart at the loss of your loved one so you can live the full life He has ahead for you. May God richly bless your days with His rest and comfort.