Author Glenda L. Hunter

Author Glenda L. Hunter

Wednesday, January 17, 2018


I have been trying to write on the topic of losing someone and have found it hard to put my thoughts in words. I have decided I should write about how losing someone has affected me. I know it affects all of us in different ways but I think that the general feeling is the same. I have lost people in my life that I was not really close to, that could even be a family member. When that happens I have a feeling of lose but not a real big void. If it is family it might appear that I could care less. But the truth is there is still a spot that only they will have and there are times that it aches because I can no longer visit with them. But the people that I hold very dear to my heart when they pass away it leaves me with a lot of different feelings which cause more emotions. The loss is greater the vacuum seems to be humongous. It seems that I will never recover. I am reminded of the time I got the phone call telling me of my sister-in-law's death, she was like a dear sister. It was unexpected and I was in total shock. I think anytime a person dies unexpectedly it is a shock. I handed the phone back to my younger sister without a word and fell on the bed where I stayed for a while. I hardly spoke to anyone for at least three days. When I got back home after the memorial service I still had very few words. My heart was full of the pain from the loss. I have reached for the phone a number of times to call her but realized that I would never be able to tell her anything again except in my mind and heart. Then the tears began to flow. Loss is hard, even harder when we love deeply. What do we do with all of this sorrow? I guess that is the big question. Do we not love? Not at all or we would miss a lot of great blessings. We would also miss the great fellowship with some wonderful people. I'm not sure there is one correct way to handle loss since every human is different but there are some things I think are helpful.  First of all we must remember that they will always be with us, in our heart. No matter what happens we are able to carry them in there and treasure every memory we have of them. Also it is okay to cry even years after the fact just because you still miss them. Something might come up that makes you think of that person and tears might just roll down your face because you still carry that love. You also might find yourself laughing because something was said or done that made you think of something funny that the two of you shared. Another great idea I've heard of is taking some of their clothes and making quits or pillows as a way of keeping them close and a great visual memory. You can hug it as if to hug them. We all have people we love and cherish. That does not have to end because they no longer walk on this earth. Honor their memory by living your life to the fullest and celebrating their life. I am sure that is what your dear loved ones would want for you. I know that is what my sister-in-law would want for me. Eleven years after her death I still think of her often and wish I could talk to her and sometimes I do in my mind and heart. I am reminded that while she was here she lived her life to its fullest and she would expect me to do the same, she would not expect me to stop doing the things that made me happy and fulfilled. Psalms 147:3a says "He heals the brokenhearted" allow God to heal the brokenness of your heart at the loss of your loved one so you can live the full life He has ahead for you. May God richly bless your days with His rest and comfort.

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