FEAR

As I take an unwanted walk I am overcome

With a feeling that I cannot run from

It is working its way into my feet

I don't know if I can move but I must

It keeps moving up my legs

They are weak – I hope they will hold me

On no!! They have become like jelly

I keep on standing even though they shake

It's adding another part - my stomach

I think it is burrowing a hole in there

No maybe it is churning butter- it is going in circles

I am sick what is going to happen to all my food

Help me – it is not stopping – where else can it go

It is in my chest – I think my heart will stop

That cannot happen I will die

No it speeds up faster and faster – it beats

I think it will come right out of my chest

I cannot get it to slow down it just will not

My arms are becoming weak and shaky

I hope I don't have to hold anything

I'm sure it would drop to the ground

They move like rubber having no control

What am I going to do?

It even goes into my head

My head is spinning like a merry-go-round

Something is happening to my brain

Oh no!! It happened – I cannot think right

My whole body is full of FEAR

What do I do? It has a strong hold

I can't shake it by myself

I am not sure anyone can help free me

CAN I FIND HELP????????????

My mind keeps hearing a voice saying

God can, God can, God can, God can

I am not sure I believe this BUT

I must – He may be my only hope

I try calling His name

I do not hear an answer

Maybe it is my nonworking brain

That is strange – my head stopped spinning

Calm is starting to come over my body

I am getting strength back into my arms

I can move them as I like

How odd is all of this? It is leaving

My heart has slowed its beating

I can breathe without a fight

I think I will make it!! How strange!!

Still I have not heard God speak

The churning and burrowing has stopped

I think I will be able to keep my food

Things are looking up for me

Maybe that fear is on the run

My legs are regaining their strength

I can stand strong and walk

My feet will carry me where I must go

Strange how the changes are happening

I called God's name but had no answer

The FEAR has not won

I can handle what I must

I can make it to another day

What if that was Gods' answer

The quiet answer in the noise

The warmth that runs through my blood

Keeping me safe when I feel unsafe

Holding my hand when I feel alone

It has to be God – who else would know?

Thank You for helping me see

You are the HOPE I always needed

Thank You for taking the fear

Making me an overcomer

GOD IS THE HOPE!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR THE HOPE!!!

Broken hearted don't give up.

What causes people to go down the road to destruction? Is it that they just like that kind of life? I have talked too many that have chosen to make life chooses that have lead them down a bad path. 

They did not mean to head that way but off they traveled. They did not stop at the first wrong turn but kept on traveling. They traveled in that direction long enough that there wrong behavior landed them in prison. I have listened as they tell me time and again of stories that scream of a broken heart. I have seen the defeat in their eyes. I have heard the tone in their voice that tells me they don't think the brokenness is able to be fixed. My heart is heavy for them. I know that feeling. I have had that defeat in my eyes. I have felt that brokenness would never get healed. But I know and truly believe something they do not yet know, that God can heal all things, even a broken heart.  

His words tells us this truth ---- Psalm 147:3 He heals the broken hearted, and binds up their wounds. If you suffer from a broken heart don't give up and travel forever down the road of destruction. Your heart can be healed!! He will also bind your oozing wounds!! But you must give it to God and trust Him for the healing. Don't give up hurting friend!!! 

Give it all over to God. Email me alters30@yahoo.com if I can ever be of help. He has mended and fix my brokenness. I know He can do it for you also. Have a great day allowing God to mend your brokenness.

Broken but fixable.

            "Mom, Mom" Joey screamed as he looked at the broken lamp on the floor.

            "What's the problem" his mother said as she came running from the kitchen.

            "I broke your lamp" he said with tears in his eyes not taking his eyes from the broken lamp. "I'm really sorry mom" he said as he began to cry.

            Mom stooped next to her young son, looked in his tearful eyes and said "Let's see what kind of damage has been done, son." She picked up the lamp which was now in three pieces. "I think it can be fixed" she said laying the lamp aside.

            "Joey what were you doing?" she asked as she sat her young son on her lap.

            "I was playing with my football. I threw it and it hit the lamp" he said. "It was an accident" he quickly added.

            "You know what I've told you about that son" she said in a stern voice. "There is to be no more playing with your football in the house." She wiped his tears and said "the good thing it is fixable. Come on let's see what we can do to get it fixed."

After much looking they finally found the super glue. With steady hands mom put the pieces back in their proper spots. Holding it gently while it dried she talked to her son about the importance of following the rules. Joey promised not to throw the football in the house anymore. After the glue was dried the lamp was placed on the table very carefully. "You can still tell it was broken but we can still use it" she said as she stepped back to admire her handy work.

            There are times in our lives we get knocked down and feel broken.  It can even get worse you can feel like they throw you away because you are of no value. When that happens it can leave you feeling there is no hope you are doomed to always be a failure, a worthless person. I must say that is not correct information. You are not a worthless person no matter how broken you are, no matter how broken you feel you are or how broken you think you are. The truth is you are fixable, if you have never been told that before I'm glad I am here to give you that great news. I have been very broken (you can read my story in my books An Unspeakable Secret or Out of the Depths a Poetic Journey) with the great help of a counselor, a great family (husband and children) and friends I am put back together. But most of all the wonderful healing power of God has made me like new. That does not mean I'm perfect but I am a person of great value even with my brokenness. You also are a person of great value even with your brokenness. If you haven't already allowed God to heal all that brokenness allowing you to live in the greatness He has for you, call on Him today for the healing. He is there waiting. God is in the business of fixing what seems unfixable. Have a great day.

Where did the joy go?

Maybe a better question is what causes your sadness? If you cannot hang onto joy then you are letting sadness and sorrow take its place. I understand that life happens and not everything is always the way we want it to be. There are going to struggles of some sort during our journey in this life and the key is not to lose your joy. I think joy is a deep emotion. It is one we can have deep inside in spite of what is happening on the outside. I don't mean we will be laughing about every circumstance, but I do mean no matter the circumstance inside we have a peace. When we allow life situations to rob us of the joys of life then we can become one bitter, frustrated, and even an angry person. It can also leave us feeling that everyone owes us something. When that happens we put ourselves in a no win state. We feel like the people that are trying to help don't understand. They add to our sorrow because we cannot count on them either. 

Maybe others don't understand but we feel everyone is out to get us. But when the joy is missing then soon hope cannot be found either. We find ourselves in a downward spiral not even noticing the good things in life. Yes, there are good things in our lives if we really look for them. So again I ask, what robs you of your joy? Is it worth holding onto? Have you gotten comfortable with the sorrow it brings? I would challenge you, as I have had to challenge myself before, to move out of the sorrow and reclaim your joy. Put your gaze upon life's greatness, listen to the encouragement and help of others, allow peace to fill a deep place in your soul, and throw off the chains of sorrow that hold you so tight. There are times you have to associate with negative people but do not let them be the ones you make your closest companions. They do not promote your joy or even have your best in mind. Look in the mirror and tell yourself I will not live in this sadness any longer and do steps to correct it. Fellowship with those that uplift your spirit. Listen to the encouraging words that others speak to you and take them as your own. Remember you have a choice. Reclaim your joy and cherish it every moment. When you think it is lost look around you at the greatness of life. Breathe in the fresh air and know that joy is just waiting again to be grabbed and held tight. Ask God to help you walk in the joy His love has for you each and every day. He does make a difference. May you reclaim and walk in joy from this moment forward in spite of any circumstance you face. Have a great day.

Ongoing Injustice

Ongoing injustice

I have been thinking about the topic of injustice and wondering what to really share.  When a small child says to the parents at bedtime "why don't I get to stay up later, you do," they are finding that things aren't the same for everyone and they don't like it. What about the siblings that yell "why can't I? Susie gets to!!!" You find that you have explained many times Susie is older and older children get to do more things. Then you hear the cry "that's not fair." You just have to let it go or have a long drawn out discussion that ends as it begins she is older. The child feels the injustice never ends, but to them it is expressed as unfair. Some people seem to feel that their whole life is one big injustice after another. If you are one of them I would caution you, because if you are not careful it will be an unhappy life. It will be a life of always screaming on the inside, if not the outside, WHY ME!!! WHY ME!!!! It will not matter what people say to try and help, their help will not be received. Before long you feel alone and maybe even that no one really cares about you. Then the big party begins and you are the only one there because it is a pity party.

Maybe you just need to take a step back and look at the situation. See if there is anything you can do different to change the injustice in your life. If there is something you are doing that keeps you in that state then change your response. Really listen and try the advice you receive from those that love and care about you. Try a more positive attitude toward life in general. Injustice is going to happen the key is how you are handle it.

I think a great example is that of Jesus. He did nothing wrong but He was not treated justly. People were cruel to Him in many ways, especially His death. They put traps out for Him to see if He would give in. He never felt sorry for Himself. He did say in the Garden of Gethsemane "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me, yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt." (Matthew 26: 39) In the end He was willing to do what God wanted. He did what He could, including taking time away from everyone to talk to God. That shows us we also need to do the same, how else are we going to get direction for our lives. God will direct us and give us peace in spite of the injustice we experience.

I guess you could just say life is not fair sometimes. But keep doing what God has for you and keep giving all things over to Him and you will be a conquer. Live life to its fullest. Change what you can and except what you cannot change. Always remember God is in control and we need to listen and do His guidance. Have a great day.

HOLD ONTO GOD WHEN HE IS SILENT

 

Do you have a hard time holding onto God when He is silent? If we give up on Him when He is silent I wonder how much we really loved Him in the first place. It does remind me of my relationship with a dear person. One summer we went to see her and her husband, while on vacation. We had a good time. When we got ready to leave and the transmission went out on our car. That little problem extended our stay. We stayed in the hotel part of the time. They had our car ready by the end of the week. I had not been feeling too good and by the time we left I felt like the relationship was stranded. It was not like we talked on the phone all the time but after that I didn't hear from her for quite a while. I sat at my house and wondered why is she giving me the silent treatment? Who knows she might have been wondering the same thing? My husband kept telling me to just call her. One day I picked up the phone and dialed her number. As the phone rang I had all these crazy ideas running though my head, she doesn't want to hear from me, she is angry at me, she …etc. Then she answered. She sounded cheerful enough and talked like nothing was wrong. I had to ask if she was mad and if that was the reason she hadn't called. She assured me she was not. I did find out she also had been pretty ill as had I. She was just unable to reach out to me. That day we both decided that instead of sitting around our houses wondering if the other was upset we would just call. Problem solved. We still have occasions that we do not talk but I know that she is my best friend. Her silence is not that she does not care, it is only silence. What to do when God does not speak? First of all make sure you have not done something you should not have. Make sure your conscious is clear. Then remember that there are times of silence. It is not something to be afraid of. It is a time to keep reading His word and talking to Him. You will hear Him again. His presence is there. Love can be silent as well as talking. Also we don't always hear because we are listening to the great noise around us and His soft voice gets drowned out. Love God at all times and trust His love for you. Have a great day.

FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE

What a saying for fear – face everything and rise. It is much easier to do just the opposite face everything and run. I don't really think it's facing something if you are running from it. Facing means you are looking it right in the eyes and seeing it for what it is worth. Running is trying to get away from the situation as quickly as possible. It is much easier to run from an uncomfortable situation then take the actions it requires to face it and rise. If you start running you might find yourself like Forest Gump not stopping for many days, weeks, or even months. Did the running solve the problem? I don't think so, he returned home to the same situation, then faced it and moved forward. Running is great exercise. It can help clear your mind. It can also help you get a better perspective on your situation if you allow it to. But the kind of running for exercise is not what I'm talking about. The running I am talking about is one when you are trying to get away from problems or fears. The question becomes when do you stop running from a problem or fear once you start? The difficulty will not solve itself. It will still effect you. It can even take a toll on your health. Just because you do not face your fears does not mean it is not there. You might not even realize what fear is doing to you but others can see. They might even try to help but you have put blinders on and are running so fast that you don't take the time to really look. I would challenge you to stop and think is running working for you? Is it taking the fear away? If not than you should start facing the fear and rise. The only thing I have found to solve the terror in my life is to face it head on. Tackle the fear, look it square in the eyes, see it for what it is worth, and then begin to chip away at it. As you chip away you are rising. Allow those chips to be stepping stones for you. Other ways to help you rise is to keep yourself surrounded by positive people and things. Do not give in to anything that does not build you up. Keep only the friends that inspire you to be the best person possible. Read uplifting books and listen to uplifting music. All of these things will help you rise above the fear that otherwise might cause you to be crippled in many ways. Don't wear yourself out by running any longer, face those ugly old fears and rise to greater heights than you can even imagined possible. You are very special. You are created in the image of God. You are created for greatness. Allow that to take THE place of fear and rise to your greatness. Have a great day.